Right guys im going to give you an account of the weekend for me. This is absolutely real and im not exaggerating anything because I don’t have to. It was very surreal. I’ll start from when me and matt ogden left Rotterdam train station. The uni just across the road from the station and I had to go into recording straight away. This is where I met Gorick. Who is 27 and has had dread locks since he was 18. so his hair was like a mat. Literally there were bits that were strands thicker than my palm. It was fucking cool. Gorrick is belgic and lives in Antwerp. After 5 hrs in a recording studio we go to burger king where I see Gorick roll a cigarette with one had in about 30 seconds. that was so cool. After that we take a taxi to matts other colleague called Robert. The taxi driver was a Yugoslavian man who told us about his travels and how Rotterdam is drug up on cocaine and is very violent……yeah. Anyway he seemed to have gone everywhere which was friggin ridiculous and had the weirdest sense of humor. We got to Roberts house which is actually a house on top of a house. And no I don’t mean apartment. It was a house layout. But his ground floor was actually the first floor. And the people below us their ground floor was the cellar. Weird architecture. Anyway I didn’t sleep much. On Saturday mat had a lecture for six hrs. I wasn’t allowed to stay around so I went and walked around Rotterdam. I first went around the main streets. I saw a flying motorcycle display and guys on hundred foot flimsy towers with trumpets. And street magic show; where the man wanted peoples wallets without the money inside. Also I saw people dressed as Riddick from the films doing acrobatics. Then I went and sat in front of the motorcycles again and this is where I met Bruno. Bruno is a homeless Portuguese man who tried to bum a fag off me. and no im not making this up. Bruno then decided to give me a tour of the city centre; which is where I had been walking previously for 2 hrs so I knew it already. But he wouldn’t leave. Then he asked if I did joints and when I said yes his little eyes lit up. And so said he would take me to the best coffee shop in Rotterdam. We first needed to go to a fucking pizzeria cos I was starving. And when I ask my tour guide he didn’t actually know. Great. So we spent then next 30 mins asking dustbin men where the nearest one was. I must state that Bruno has a libido problem. And would try and chat up every hot black girl, and I mean every, that went past. So getting him to concentrate was difficult. But because after pizza we were going to go to a coffee shop, He worked his little socks off and we found one eventually. In pizza hut bruno came with me, and decided to give me his life story. Bruno left school at 17, was a father at 19 and was married by 21. I got shown a picture of his son. He then kept proclaimiung he was a good man. ‘I no steal, no do drugs like cocain. Im a good man, but dutch…they are fuckers’. Anyway, I bought him a coffee to my surprise.(little fucker) Then kept on repeating the same story about how he was jobless and homeless. He did not like Holland or dutch people. He kept saying fuck very loudly. I so I tried eat my meal as fast as I could before we got chucked out. Thankfully we didn’t. after pizza hut Bruno then took me to the “best coffee shop in Rotterdam”. At this point I was slightly worried that he was gonna take me to an alley we he’d mug me. but curiosity kept me fro legging it. And I know curiosity killed the cat but im not cat and I think my size and considerable higher intellect are going to prove more valuable than its nine lives. So we left the main streets. Thankfully this place was in no alley way but it was an exactly busy street. So we went in. and of course I had to buy. So I bought the smallest bag possible so if he stole it, not much was lost. So he rolled us a joint and I got stoned with a complete stranger, called bruno who was a homeless Portuguese man. I just wanted to say that again. Anyway this is when he asked for money. And so the time I decided to leave. I was stoned in Rotterdam on a street I hadn’t been on before. So I decided to and sit at a bus shelter for an hour and reed a book. I then went back to the university, which took me half an hour to find. Met up with matt and then got chucked out of the uni because it was an open. Then fun did not stop there tho. On the train ride back. We had the pleasure to sit in the presence of a man on some hard drug. No normal man starts to cry at his fone. And then start making guns noises. He then got very violent started to shout then stood up and proclaimed “Im gonna cap all you people, you get that”. Then he sat down again and fell asleep. I was pissing myself. This carried on the whole way to roermond. Then the fun stopped when we got off.
